Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
