i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
