p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
