I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
