instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
