those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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