you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
