her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
