I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
