she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
