We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
