Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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