FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my sisters under your porch take her home
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
