wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
