marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
