so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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