It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I bet he comes in French.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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