dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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