Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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