why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
