Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is my gift to your gina
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
