4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
