He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
