For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this boner is exhausting
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
