Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
