He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
