I look better un-naked...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
