Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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