My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
