Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
