Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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