You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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