I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
