i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
