Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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