i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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