I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
