did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
