My friends, they love my intelligence
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
