I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
