I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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