There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
