remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
