She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
