I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
