but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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