If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
