If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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