break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
