i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
