I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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