I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
